Speed Demos Archive

Good Evening Folks! And welcome to tonight's edition of "SDA Presents: The Morfans Comedy Bronze Half Hour".
And in a packed show tonight we have some outstanding demos, several references to masturbation, some unfunny commentary and at least one recycled joke.

We will begin with the Hungarian Bunny Machine, Jozsef Szalontai, who has taken both of the Long Way Runs on Hell's Atrium.

First he improved Sebastian's Easy Run by one second. 0:55.
Then the next day he beat that by another second to get 0:54.
And finally he destroyed Martin's Nightmare Run by three seconds with a phenomenal fiend boost followed by some of the worst Quad SNG shooting I have ever seen. :-) 0:58.

Amrik Kochhar has been pedalling his bike like a demon for the last few days and has managed to take two Hipnotic records from our ol' pal Optic.

He did a very slick run around hip3m2, managing a 5 second improvment to the Easy 100% to get 1:50.
And he improved the Nightmare Run of hip2m1 by one second by bouncing a couple of grenades near the shambler at the end. Of course, if he could actually *hit* the shambler this could be even quicker. 0:31.

Speaking of Optic reminds me: What do you call a man with a 2 inch penis trying to have sex?

*drum roll*

Just-in!

I would like to make it quite clear that the "joke" above was only prompted by Mr Fleck's christian name, it was in no way suppossed to imply that he has a small cock. In fact I've been told by an undisclosed source known only as "S" that when he gets it up it looks like a two year old child's arm holding a big, red apple.

It's always nice to see new people submitting demos, and this week Anders Nordensten has lost his SDA virginity with two impressive demos.

For his first ever improvement he has done the Easy Run of mntbase2 one second faster than DanielM. 0:53.
And then, flushed with success, he decided to improve Daniel's Nightmare run, this time by a big 4 seconds. 1:03.

Keep up the good work, Anders, and soon you'll be submitting demos as good as these three from someone who's testicular beauty has been the talk of the Message Board recently. Jonny Andersson has been following Stubby's advice on developing a smoother wrist motion with a hectic training schedule of one-handed web surfing.

He utilised a loooong bunny/slope jump at the start of polygon2 to grab the silver key and improve Martin's Long Way Easy Run by 11 seconds to give him 0:34.
And he used the same trick to take one second off of Carl's Long Way Nightmare Run. I wouldn't be suprised if Carl gave him a kick right in his pretty balls for that one. 0:21.
And finally he improved Evan's Easy Run of czg07c by one second to get 0:31. He say's that the idea for the improvement came from someone called Hansson. ;-)

The big download file is, as always, available from here (UK) and here (Denmark). This one contains a bonus egg demo from Stubby proving that although ogres are stupid, they have amazing powers of balance, even after they're dead.

Enjoy the demos. See you next time.

Greetings. I hope you've all recovered from the strain of the latest Run Of The Whenever and are working on some new high quality demos to amaze us all with. Demos like these, in fact...

Two more ID records have been broken this week.

Martin "Tarzan" Selinus has swung into the The Crypt of Decay and improved Timo's Easy 100% by 4 seconds. There are one or two minor mistakes so it can still be improved but overall a very fast piece of work. 1:13.
Take a really long, boring map (say, Hell's Atrium), crank it up to Nightmare skill, then do a Nightmare 100% that contains probably the biggest mistake in the ID tables but is still 7 seconds faster than the current record. It can only be Thomas "Slope Jump" Stubgaard. He has also included two egg demos. One of a very annoying spawn bug and the other of some very funny Death Knight behaviour. (I've also tried this with vores and zombies. A big group of zombies looks hilarious doing this). 2:30.

One of our friends from Russia, Dan Stukanev, seems to be on a mission to capture all of Optics old records. He has now turned his attention to the Hipnotic tables and the Easy Run of hip3m4. He improved it by the usual one second to give him 1:07.

Tim Doherty has definitely put his bike crash and battle with the flu behind him as he completes his second Nightmare 100% Marathon in a week. This time he has filled the hole in the Beyond Belief table with this cautious, but impressive (it's a NH Marathon FFS!), 31:09.

And now, a little story...

Amrik Kochhar walks into a store to do his weekly grocery shopping. He goes around collecting all his stuff and then goes to pay.
The lady at the cash register goes through the items: One pint of milk; small loaf of bread; 4 x six pack of beer; 6 individual microwave meals; 1 porno mag.
She looks up at him, looks at what he's bought, looks back at him and says, "Tell me, Amrik. You're single, aren't you?"
"How did you know that?" He asked. "Is it because I did the Easy Run of hip3m2 in 0:28, three seconds faster than Ilkka?"
"No." She replied.
"Then is it because I improved my Easy 100% of czg_moon by 35 seconds to get 2:35?"
"No." She replied.
"Well, is it because I took three seconds off of Justin's Easy 100% of earth for a 1:36?"
"No." She replied.
"I'll bet it's because Martin has totally owned my bbelief3 records? Doing the Easy Run one second faster than I did to get 0:47 and the Nightmare Run 2 seconds faster to give him 0:53?"
"No." She replied.
"Then how did you know?"
"Well..." she said,
*drumroll*
"...it's because you're fucking ugly!"

The usual big .dz mirrors are in place here (UK) and here (Denmark) so go grab the bastard and start watching.

Finally, don't forget to check out the profiles every now and then. In the last few days we've had new and revised profiles for Johan, Carl, Ingmar, Stubby and me. That's all for this time, stay tuned for more demos and jokes at Amrik's expense. :-)

There's been a rather strange thread developing on the Message Board recently about how the original Quake speedrunner and founder/administrator of this site hates a large section of the community. Whether it's true or not I have no idea, and frankly it's none of my business, but I would like to say that from my contact with him I've always found him perfectly affable and helpful and can't believe he'd hold a baseless, long-term grudge against anyone.

Except for Ken, of course. ;-)

Which brings us rather neatly to the latest demos. Amrik Kochhar, The Trinidad Tornado, has taken both of the 100% records on dma1 from Arturo.

First he improved the nightmare 100% by 2 seconds to get 0:22.
But he couldn't quite match that on Easy skill, only manageing a one second improvement. 0:23.

The next demo comes from the Russian Deathknight himself, Valeriy Burmistrov. He has improved Ilkka's ancient bbelief2 Nightmare Run by one second to give him 0:15. Rumour has it that Jozsef has also done the Easy Run in the same time but you're just going to have to wait for SBBlite2 to see it.

Jonny Andersson, The Uddevalla Whirlwind, has taken another second off of his chessp1 Easy 100% to give him 1:01. Personally, I think he could get under a minute if he was to grenade the zombies in a different way....

Tim Doherty, The Kiwi Cyclone, has filled yet another gap in the Rogue Marathon tables. This time he has totally abandoned his sanity and done the Nightmare 100% through the entire mission pack in the (probably not optimum) time of 78:19. Because of the bizarre reproductive behaviour of the Hell Spawns he has only 1333 kills, 4 less than the combined total for Nolan's NR1 and NR2 demos. For all you students of advanced mathematics out there that would make his total kills 1337. You just know he did it on purpose...

Our first coop for a few weeks comes to us courtesy of the Brothers Stubgaard Full Contact Tag Team. Thomas and Mads-Peter have improved Nolan and Evan's e4m5 NIghtmare 100% by 8 seconds to give them 1:57.

And no update these days would be complete without an ID improvement. This time Timo Nieminen, The Finnish Hurricane, has taken the Easy Run of e2m7 from Robert by one second to give him 0:32. He even suggests a way to improve it but it would take a brave man to try it...

The big download is available as usual from here (UK) and here (Denmark) without Tim's 4 Meg marathon, of here with it.
Please remember that these combined files are only available for a short time after each update so don't come maoning to us that you've tried to download one from several weeks ago and it isn't there anymore because, paradoxically, even though you're right, you'll still be a c^%t.

Enjoy!

As Shakespeare once said...

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen: lend me a horse. For I come here not to bury Ceasar but to frag his biatch arse with some wintery discontent." (Henry XXVII, Act 37, Scene 3)

Food for thought indeed, but I think you'll agree that this site captures the essence of these words once you've seen the latest set of demos.
We have 3 ID records, 2 of which are going straight on to the Unbeatable Runs Table, and 5 other runs of such high quality that you'll think you've died and gone to the afterlife paradise of your choice.

To kick things off, we have three demos on darkages. In the last update Dan Stukanev took the Nightmare Run record, now the other three have also fallen.

Stuker turned his attention to the Easy Run and took one second off of Daniel's record to get 0:28.
Amrik Kochhar has taken both of the 100% records. First, the Easy from Optic by one second. 1:07.
And then the Nightmare, also from Optic, also by one second. 1:09.

Ilkka Kurkela is definitely back. He has reclaimed his Easy Run of hip1m5 from Martin by 4 seconds to get 1:31. This run doesn't contain any spectacular, almost impossible tricks or massive damage boosts, just 101 small monster avoiding and corner cutting tricks (watch out for monster slides over Centroids). Beautiful.

Jozsef Szalontai makes it all look so simple. He has taken 6 seconds off of Justin's seemingly solid Easy Run of earth without even looking like he's trying. 0:53.

Looking back over the last month I am amazed at the number of ID improvements we have seen. And from the rumours I hear it isn't going to stop any time soon.

Jozsef has gone fiend boosting, bunny hopping, grenade jumping, fish killing mad in The Palace Of Hate. He did the Nightmare Run in 0:21, one second faster than Markus.
And the Easy Run in the seemingly optimum time of 0:19, again one second faster than the recently resurrected Mr Taipale.
Markus Taipale has wasted no time in improving the 0:27 of e1m7 he did for the last update. If this isn't optimum I'll eat my keyboard. 0:26.

Once again, a single download of all eight demos is available from here (UK) and here (Denmark). Nolan has been making some heroic efforts in fixing the download servers but from the reaction on the message board I think we will keep on doing this in the future anyway. (Damn! Useful feedback from the message board already! And I thought it was all just chicken choking and insults. :-))

I have no words to describe how I felt when this demo plopped into my mail box. No sooner has the corpse of the monstrous entity Chthon sunk back into the lava whence it rose following Jozsef's 0:28 Nightmare Run of e1m7 when someone comes along and does a 0:27. Who has the skillz to do such a run?
Ladies and gentlemen, we were wondering if we'd ever see him again, and if we did would he still have what it takes, but here he is, Mr Markus Taipale!
Oh, by the way, in case you haven't guessed this is a Must Download.

As if one prodigal son returning to the fold wasn't enough, we have received a demo from the most prolific man in Speed Running history. Apparently he's been locked in a brothel for the last few months, which explains why his hand's a little shakey, but he's back to reclaim his Easy Run of zer1m4 from David Hocking by one second to get 1:26. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you Mr Justin "Optic" Fleck!

Our final Comeback King of the night is bunny pioneer, trained killer and all-round nice guy Ilkka Kurkela. (I know he did the cool e4m8 Easy Run a while ago but that was at SpeedCon and doesn't count :-))
He has taken back his Easy 100% of elektra from Carl by 6 seconds to give him 0:55.

I need a drink after that. BRB.

*burp* That's better. Our next demo is yet another ID Nightmare 100% improvement from Thomas Stubgaard. This time he improved his e4m7 record by 10 seconds, just by faster running and frighteningly smooth shotgun work, to get 3:38. Also included in here is a brilliant egg of the two stupidest fish to ever ride a boomstick. Must Download.

Dan Stukanev's runs just keep getting more impressive. This time he has improved Optic's Nightmare Run of darkages by one second to 0:30.

Eh? What's that you say? No link to Optic's demo? Well that's because I mailed David yesterday to point out that he didn't record his demo using the ZerStats patch, he replied this morning with this 1:26 several hours before Optic's arrived. That's rather Countered your Strike back into the heart of SDA, hasn't it, hookah toker? ;-)
But I sincerely hope this doesn't slow him down because he only has another 59 demos to go until he reaches the magic 1000 demo's submitted! And when he gets there I will personally buy him a beer and roll him a foot long doobie. (I've got no idea how I'll get them to him though...)

Naturally, the servers still aren't working so you can get a .dz of all these demos here (UK) and here (Denmark, available after Stubby wakes up tomorrow).
Please don't bitch at us about the servers, we are trying to get them fixed but it's totally out of our hands. We know it's frustrating and annoying but please be patient and try not to be too hard on us.
Otherwise we'll come to your house and kill you! :-)

Goodnight.

Me again! Didn't have time to post the previous update before I left but I did manage to sneak off at lunchtime and do it. I tried to get Stubby to upload it but he wasn't around this morning. I guess he was busy with his job sexually abusing fish, at least I presume that's what Carp Entry means! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
(It's just occurred to me that unless you have carp fish swimming in the rivers of your country that joke won't actually be very (or at all) funny. For your information the carp, or cyprinus carpio, is a large freshwater fish of the family Cyprinidae.)

The first demo of the evening comes to us from the Hungarian Cannonball that is Jozsef Szalontai. He has managed to shave 2 seconds off of his Nightmare Run of phallusy with a couple of route tweaks. The speed he now gets from the first boost has to be seen to be believed, and he still says it's not optimised yet! 0:26

Speaking of Joe, you must head on over to the QdQ Improvements Page and download his e2m3 0:16 nightmare run. Frightening.

Carl Tholin has gone RDE mad and taken the three rd1m1 - Quadrant Six records that he didn't already have. (BTW. Jesse, I'm sure you must have heard this a million times but a quadrant is one part, or area, of four parts. In order to have a 6 it would need to be at least a sextant.)

He improved DanielL's Nightmare Run by one second by using, errrr, better bunnies, or something, to get 0:49
He beat Ilkka's Easy Run by one second to get 0:47 by having a faster PC. ;-)
And finally he destroyed DanielL's Nightmare 100% by 13 seconds 1:38

David Hocking has done the first Zerstorer improvement for quite some time. He beat Bong Boy Fleck's Easy Run of zer1m4 by three seconds to get 1:27. He also includes a nice little egg demo showing what can happen when enforcers act like dumb fu%$ks around the teleporters.

And to complete our demo round-up for this update we take a dive into the pit with Martin Selinus and Jonny Anderson.

Marvin The Destroyer managed to hack 2 seconds off of Ingmar's Easy Run to give a very impressive 0:52. But of course he isn't happy with the run because there is some microscopic flaw in it that no one else could even spot. I don't know, he does a run that most people would kill for and all he does is moan moan moan. ;-)
"Pretty Balls" Andersson has improved his Easy 100% by 5 seconds to get 2:06.

That's the end of the demos for now. There is one more just come in but I'm not going to post it until you can get to it. By which I mean that the FilePlanet servers are b0rked again. You can't even get to some of the files that were available before. :-/
But believe me this one is a bit of a suprise and well worth the wait....

Good morning, Folks. And welcome to the first of today's updates. Why do I say the first? Well, I fell asleep last night before I got around to the update and I didn't want to leave it another full day so I'm doing the first part now, before I go to work and the second half this evening. CAPEESH??

So let's begin by charging straight in to the Haunted Halls, running around like a madman and swinging our axe at everything that moves. Such behaviour could only come from someone of Viking heritage, in this case the Main Dane Thomas Stubgaard.
Stubby has not been idle the last few days. He has improved three of the four single player records on e3m7. (Well, I guess he's just not an "Easy Run" kind of guy).

He improved his Easy 100% by one second to get 1:34.
He then cranked the game up to Nightmare and took 3 seconds off of Big Poppa Pflug's Run to get 1:07. But I have to say that this should have been a 1:06 or a 1:05. Why do you waste time with the 100 Health secret when there's very little to damage you after that point and you have good health/armour already, dude??? Please go to the message board and write out 100 times "I must not waste time on extraneous health packs towards the end of almost flawless runs." :-)
Finally, he improved the hardest Nightmare 100% in the whole game, and he did it in fine style. Watching this makes it look easy, but if you've never tried to do the Nightmare 100% on this map I suggest you give it try. You will be scarred forever. :-) 2:08, a 9 second improvement.

Before I leave I've just got time to tell you about a nice little bit of optimising that Amrik Kochhar has been working on in the last few days. In DanielM's .txt from his Nightmare 100% of beach1 he says that he thinks a two second improvement to 0:21 would be optimum. On Sunday night (my time) Amrik sent in the "optimum" 0:21 but he thought he could do better. On Monday he sent in a 0:20 and thought that was the end of it. But Stubby then suggested to him that maybe he could squeeze in an extra grenade boost too. So off he went and finally came back with this very impressive 0:19. Personally, with a better grenade boost I think he could do an 0:18. ;-)
BTW. Watch out for the last scrag kill. Depending on how you look at it it's either the luckiest or the slickest kill we've seen for a long time.

Stay tuned, more to follow....

Hey there Folks. Here's a big YO! right at everyone who's posted to the message board. And an equally big BRING IT ON! to all those who haven't yet. It's proving to be very popular already and not just amongst the SDA regulars. There are posts from people we've never heard from before which is really nice to see.

But you didn't come here to listen to me bang on about how much I love message boards. You came here to see if the latest demos could live up to the high standard of the last few weeks, and the answer is that you can bet your biatch ass they do.

The first two are taken from an upcoming QdQ project called Qd100Qwav. This project (like all QdQ projects) is likely to take some time to finish so the team has decided to post some of the first person scratch runs. For the later levels and the recams you'll just have to wait for the finished production.

Jozsef Szalontai improved Thomas's e2m1 Nightmare 100% by 6 seconds to get 1:24. No real new suprises just Joe running unbelievably fast.
Thomas Stubgaard improves his Nightmare 100% of e3m2 by 4 seconds. How does me manage to squeeze another 4 whole seconds from this map? By using a trick that requires stupidly accurate timing, even by todays Speed Running standard! DAMN! 1:21.

Do you think you can handle any more ID NH? You don't have a choice with Stubby around. I wish I could see Amrik's face when he sees that his recent e1m4 demo has been owned by 10 seconds. He always said the hardest part of this map was working out how to kill the ogres and fiends by the silver key door. Well, my friend, this 2:12 shows you how it's done. :-)

Amrik Kochhar has added a little swish-swash-jump to the 100% records on dwell. He did the Easy 100% in 1:22 (the only Easy skill demo in this update!), 4 seconds faster than Justin, and the Nightmare 100% in 1:49, 7 seconds faster than Justin.

And of course, no update would be complete without a demo from Uddevalla. Daniel Andersson has improved his Nightmare Run of frbdbase by another second to give him a fine 0:35.

That's all. Now I suggest that you all head back to the Message Board and start a new thread called "Why Richard is the greatest Updater, Speed Runner and Sexual Tyranosaurus of all time."

Evening all! A big thanks to all of you that have been mailing and ICQing me over the last week, especially those that have ICQ'd 6 times a day asking when this update was coming out. Please be assured that I wasn't being rude by not replying, it's just that I've been away from home for the last few days doing some fishing and shooting and drinking wit' da boyz.
But I don't blame you for being impatient. Word has got around about some of the awesome demos that have been made in the last week and naturally you're all gagging to see them. I trust you won't be disappointed.

We begin with four demos on the ever popular Beyond Belief maps.

In my last update I mentioned that Amrik had missed out on doing a trick on the Easy 100% of bbelief4 which should save him 2 seconds. Within one hour of posting the update he had come back with this 1:50.
Aleksander Osipov has decided to do something about Amrik pimping all the BB records. He reclaimed his bbelief5 Easy 100%, improving Amrik by 7 seconds to get 2:13.
But that's only a small setback for everyone's favourite Trinidadian (is that right?). He was on his way to bbelief7 to do the demo below whan he decided to stop off at bbelief6 and destroy Big Daddy Pflug's Nightmare Run by 14 seconds to get 1:11.
Flushed with his success he went on to beat Attila's thought-to-be-optimised Nightmare Run of bbelief7 by one second to give him an unbeatable 0:06.99937.

As good as those demos were, I think it's time to unveil the EIGHT ID improvements we have for you this week. I can't remember the last time we had eight different ID records broken in one week, and frankly I can't be frigged to trawl back through the news to find out. And even though a lot of these are from people beating their own records (and we all know how often some of these people "beat their own") not one of these is a cheap improvement. All are Must Download. So, in level order they are....

Jozsef Szalontai takes a second off of a record that I thought would be here until the end. He beat Markus's e1m7 Nightmare Run by one second by out bunnying the bunny master to get 0:28.
Martin Selinus has obviously been letting his bad RJ to the silver door in his Easy 100% of e1m8 play on his mind. He improved his almost flawless run by one second to give him another almost flawless run of 0:52.
Thomas Stubgaard also improved his Nightmare 100% of the same map by 2 seconds to give a low-grav, rocket-boosted, quad-jumping, ogre-killing, scrag-scragging 1:19.
Jozsef also did a frighteningly good Easy Run of e2m3. He flew through the level in a time of 0:31. Would it be worth grabbing the health the second time the bars hit him in order to throw the second gren at the Death Knight from much closer? Who knows.
Also on the same map, Timo Nieminen has improved his already impressive Nightmare 100% by 13 seconds to get 2:23. He made a whole load of tweaks and one fairly big change (throwing a few grens down through the window instead of going back to kill all the outside monsters) but after reading his .txt he may not be satisfied yet. He say's he improved it because he thinks Stubby is after his record but...
Thomas was otherwise engaged opening a can of whoop ass on his Nightmare 100% e2m4. He improved it by 4 seconds to get 2:27. I loved the way he missed the DK kill with the 3 grens just before the pent, but found the time to rocket the metal fukka on the way back. :-)
That would be enough for some people, but not The Northern NH God. He has further improved his e3m6 Nightmare 100%, this time by a frightening 21 seconds!! 4:12.
Tonight's final ID improvemant comes courtesy of Daniel Magnusson. He has nuked his previous Episode 1 Nightmare 100% by 49 seconds to get a damn nice 12:11. Marathons are hell. Nightmare Marathons are hell. 100% Marathons are hell. This is a little taste of heaven, but it could be improved...

Marvin has given us our first Hipnotic improvement for a while. He bunnied and hugged his way around hipdm1 and finally tempted the shambler into a good position to get a 0:23, 2 seconds faster than Ilkka.

And for the last demo, fresh in tonight from Sweden, Jonny Andersson has improved his Easy 100% (despite the fact his .txt says Easy Run) of escape by a whole big second to get a 1:04.

Finally, Stubby has updated the links page with links to Ingmar's Ill Mind Moves and Compet-N, and if you don't know what that is, go take a look.

G'night y'all.

I'd like to start this update with an apology. During my last update I mentioned a speedrunning competition over at The Cave. Fern has kindly pointed out to me that if read in a certain way with your head at a certain angle then you could think that I infered that Daz actually wrote the DMSP mod. (Basically, because I said he did). However, as everybody knows, it was of course Wouter "Aardappel" van Oortmerssen who wrote it. I hope my mistake hasn't caused too much pain and unhappiness.

We'll start off the demos tonight with a coop orgy by a couple of seriously disturbed Swedes. (See here if you don't believe me). Johan Nilsson and Carl Tholin have produced 8 demos of various qualities for your entertainment.

They did the easy 100% of czgtoxic in 1:02. A solid demo and some very poignant philosophcal musing from Johan about maps with no secrets in the .txt.
Not wishing to let Jonny hog all the eyesock glory, they utilised a very nice SSG/slope boost to complete the Easy Run in 0:42, 14 seconds better than their previous run, and the Easy 100% in 1:01, a 22 second improvement.
They then moved on to rd1m1 and filled the Nightmare 100% slot with a 1:03.
And since they were on the Runner's Delight levels they thought that they'd improve DanielH and DanielA's nightmare run of rd1m3. They did it by two seconds to get a very nice 0:32. There'll be fighting in the sauna over this one, I'm sure. :-)
Next, they improved their runs on damaul3. They took a second off the Easy Run time for a 0:11, but they took the time to (probably) optimise the Nightmare Run. 2 seconds faster and a nice bit of "total coop" gives an impressive 0:10.
Oh yeah, they also did the Easy 100% of elektra in 0:44, 2 seconds faster than Evan and Cameron, but they lost one of the demos, probably the one that uses every cheat in the book. ;-)

Thomas Stubgaard is definitely back in full ID Nightmare 100% mode. This time he has improved his own e3m6 by three seconds to get 4:33. As Thomas says, when it comes to this map there are four words that spring to mind: patience, persistance, monster-cooperation and shotgun skillz.

Amrik Kochhar continues his attempt to own every Beyond Belief record. Some people might say that such a quest is futile (as futile as trying to get him to shut up on ICQ?) but he's not letting that daunt him.

First on his hit list was the bbelief4 Easy 100%, which he did in 1:52, improving young Fleck's run by 2 seconds. He did my favourite zombie-armour jump but wussed out of the zombie-emerging-from-water jump from SCBBlite that would have saved another two seconds. *tsch*
He then turned his attention to bbelief5, doing the Easy 100% in an impressive 2:20, 4 seconds faster than Alex. There was a heart stopping moment just after he killed the fiend by the main exit when it looked like he came within the width of a flies dick of falling in the lava, but he recovered in fine style.
He also improved Robert's Nightmare Run by one second to get 0:23. This includes an all to familiar egg demo of what happens when you mess wit' da feendz.

Finally, I teamed up with The Main Dane to fill the Nightmare 100% hole on the normal gravity e1m8. We tried a few days ago and got a 1:02, but it wasn't very good and Stubby forgot to record it (DOH!) so we tried again last night and we SUCKED. The best we could do was this 1:03.

BTW. I uploaded the demos about two hours ago but they haven't copied across to the mirror sites yet. So if you can't download them now please do try later. I apologise on behalf of PlanetQuake and the GameSpy Network for any inconvenience caused. (I have to say that, If you check my e-mail address above you'll see that I'm now an official corporate wh0re. :-))

ID demos:

Jozsef Szalontai improved Martin Selinus' Nightmare Run (normal gravity) of e1m8 by 1 second to get 0:25.
But Martin fought back and improved upon Jozsef's with one more second to get 0:24.
Martin also owned me by doing the Easy 100% (gravity), 3 seconds faster to get a time of 0:53.
And finally we have an awesome demo from Ingmar Poerner who did the Nightmare Run of e2m5, improving Robert's time by 2 seconds and the QdQwav time by 1 second to get 0:37. Make sure you read Ingmar's text file!
All demos Must Download

Custom demos:

Jonny Andersson did the Nightmare Run of escape, 3 seconds faster than his previous demo to get a time of 0:51.
Amrik Kochhar followed up on Jonny's eyesock runs. He did the Easy 100% in 1:16, 5 seconds faster than Thomas Bergendorff, and the Nightmare 100% in 1:17, 2 seconds faster than Thomas.

The Quake Done Quick site has been updated with a new release done entirely by Ingmar. His own site Ill Mind Moves, has been launched too. It's about Q1, Q2 and Q3 trick demos, and it also features Quake movies, including his new and highly anticipated Quake redone Quick production. Definitely worth a download as some of the demos are _faster_ than the times in QdQwav!

It seems that an imminent apocalypse has not managed to slow down any of our contributors.

Jonny Andersson has sent in two sweet eyesock demos.

He did the Easy Run in fine style to get 0:46, 2 seconds better than DanielL.
And he did some mad bunnying through the Nightmare Run to get 0:49, one second better than Daniel. Jonny, someone that can do a run like this really should have an ID record to their name...

The Russian Optimising Machine that is Valeriy Burmistrov has managed to do the promised Easy 100% of beach1 in 0:24. He did this by finally managing to get all three Ogre kills without breaking step once. Is a 0:23 possible? Rather you than me. :-)

You'd think that after all this time the ID tables could get a well deserved rest. But not with people like Daniel Lindberg And Thomas Stubgaard around.

Daniel has produced another amazing demo. This time he cruised the Easy 100% of e3m4 in 1:13, 7 seconds faster than Thomas. There are a number of route tweaks in here but the biggest time saving is a very twisty quadded rocket boost that took me totally by suprise. Must Download.
Which brings us to The Northern God we all know as Stubby. He has improved his Nightmare 100% of e2m7 by one solitary second to get 2:49. Now you may think a one second improvement isn't much, but if you've ever tried a Nightmare 100% on this map you will know that it is *ahem* fiendishly difficult to even stay alive, let alone get to the end in a decent time. That said, it isn't one of Thomas's greatest runs, but the inclusion of an egg demo showing one of the funniest bits of monster madness I have ever seen makes this a Must Download.

Thomas Bergendorff tried to resist the lure of speed running but I'm very glad to say he couldn't. He managed to do the Nightmare run of networld in 1:33, a massive 19 seconds faster than DanielM, before he had to get back to his *cough* wrist exercises.

Amrik Kochhar has suprised us all by making a further (and I think final) improvement to his Easy Run Marathon on Beyond Belief. Outstanding running across all the levels gave him a five second improvement of 2:55. Check his .txt file: it reads like an acceptance speech at the Oscars. :-) Must Download.

For those of you that would like to try something a little different, Daz from The DaZ Dranz Level Cave is hosting a SpeedRunning Competition using his DMSP mod, a cool add-on that allows monsters to spawn on deathmatch levels. The results are being decided by two things, speed and the number of cool tricks you can perform during your run. See here for details and don't forget to tell him you heard it on SDA. :-)

I couldn't finish this update without offering our deepest condolences to all victims, families and friends of the hideous terrorist atrocities this week. I also hope that all the scum that plan, commit and support any terrorist action against innocent people for political or religious reasons die slow, horrible deaths. Bastards.

Good evening, true believers. And what an evening for quality demo's it has turned out to be. We have improvements on three ID runs; a mad Russian; and 2 Beyond Belief marathons. And not a single table-filler or "oh, I'll improve this later." among them. It's kinda like livin' in Quake Nirvana.

After Axel's cool demo from the previous update I thought we might have to wait a while before we saw any improvement to the e1m8 runs. But Martin Selinus had other ideas. He took some time off from stealing cars and setting fire to reindeer to improve the Nightmare Run by 2 seconds to get 0:27. The next day Jozsef Szalontai sent us a one second improvement on that, but he wasn't quite quick enough (how often do you get to say that about Joe?) because Martin had already submitted a 0:26.
Martin says that his run should be beatable and Joszef called his run "a slow piece of sh1t" so I don't think this is over yet!

Marvin also decided that Peter's incredible Easy Run just wasn't quite good enough. So he spent the evening precision-quad-blasting himself around the map until he finally completed one of the best looking demos I have seen. Unfortunately, I'm feeling sadistic and am going to make you wait for it....

....Ready?....

....0:23. Must Download.

Jozsef has also somehow managed to shave another second off of his e4m8 Nightmare Run. Some crazy running and 2 helpful fiends allowed him to exit in 0:44, one second faster than Ilkka's Easy Run!

Dan Stukanev has submitted another one second improvement to his Nightmare run on houstrps. 0:40. This will be very hard to beat without some incredibly lucky cooperation from the Ogres at the gold key.

Amrik Kochhar keeps the improvements for the Easy 100% Beyond Belief Marathon coming. He took 39 seconds off of his old time in a much slicker looking demo which includes the mid air Zombie-Gren jump and a dubious quality rocket boost. 14:45.

And finally, after precisely 2 months and 7 improvements (4 seconds this time) Amrik has got the Easy Run Marathon down to 3:00. Very few flaws and excellent running throughout make this a Must Download.

Another record! Morfans did the Sunday run of SDA_update in a time of 1:59, 3 seconds faster than his previous record. Must Upload. (Thanks for that one, Amrik). :-)

The results are in, the dust has settled, the demos are posted, the monkeys are spanked. But that doesn't mean that the madness has stopped.
Before we turn our attention to the RotW results, let's gaze in awe at the latest harvest of demos.

True to his word, Amrik Kochhar has begun his weekly improvement of the Easy 100% Marathon on Beyond Belief. This week he managed to beat his previous time by 64 seconds to get 15:24. He continues to have problems with the cool zombie-grenade-jump-yellow-armour-secret trick but I'm sure he'll get it one day.

Next, Dan Stukanev continues to own the runs on houstrps. Stuker improved his Nightmare Run by one second to get 0:41, and Justin's Easy Run by the same amount for a 0:34.

The whole rest of this update concerns ID records. Thomas Stubgaard has once again found some time to improve some 100% demos from the original Quake levels. I guess he must have found some fool to help with the updates.

He improved Justin's Easy 100% of e2m7 by 3 seconds to 1:30. He knew Amrik was also working on this run so he improved an ID record just to annoy him! Now that's what I call EVIL. :-)
He is also now happy enough with his marathon Nightmare 100% through Episode 2 to submit it. This is an amazing run in my opinion. He keeps the aggression level high throughout and even manages to do the "curling bunny rocket slope jump" to the Quad at the end of The Wizard's Manse. Mental play indeed from the NH guru. He managed a time of 17:36, 386(!!!) seconds faster than Justin's record.

With the gradual errosion of Optic's runs over the last few weeks I was shocked to see that he only has 355 current records left on SDA! At this rate he will have none at all by the middle of 2007! Maybe this desperate news will prompt him to stop stabbing the cat and get back to business. ;-)

This brings us to the Run Of The Whenever. It was another storming success with the devil himself, Peter Horvath, taking the Easy Hundred and the ever impressive Daniel Lindberg taking the Nightmare 100%. Add this to Peter's victory in last December's RotW and we have a new map and set of runs to add to the tables.

Ziggurat Gravito - e1m8 with normal gravity.

Easy Run. Peter Horvath with 0:24. (Includes a very nice recam). If you've never seen this run, watch it now. It truly rocks.
Easy 100%. Peter Horvath with 0:36.
Nightmare 100%. Daniel Lindberg with 1:06.
Nightmare Run. Jonny Andersson has beaten the crowd to the first gap in the ID tables for quite some time. He has done a 0:31 which I haven't seen myself yet as I'm writing this update at work, but Stubby tells me it's "adequate". This is Jonny's first solo ID record! Way to go Jonny you crazy young Swede.

That's it for now. Keep those demos coming in, send us in a profile if you haven't done so already *COUGH*Daniel*COUGH*, and stay tuned for the next contest, which will be coming.....

Whenever.

We'll start off this mornings update (I was going to do it last night but it's such fun to make Amrik wait) with an ID record improvement. Amrik Kochhar has further improved his Nightmare 100% of e1m4 by four seconds to take it down to 2:22. There are very few flaws in this demo. Must Dow... Hmm. Maybe when there are NO flaws. ;-)

On to the other demos.

Jozsef Szalontai has upped the stakes in the battle for the Easy Run of czg_moon. He changed the route to the first switch and found a new way to get to the silver key. This enabled him to improve Jonny's run by three seconds to get 0:30. Must Download.
Jozsef also managed to shave a second off of his czgtoxic Easy Run with some insane bunnying. 0:26.
Dan Stukanev has sent in another impressive nightmare run, this time on houstrps. He improved Justin's record by two seconds to get 0:42. Way to go Dan.
Jan Schob has finally recaptured the only run he has ever had on SDA. He did the Nightmare Run of r1m1 in 1:24, two seconds faster than Justin. This demo was actually recorded over a year and a half ago. To find out why he has only just submitted it keep reading...

To finish off we have four marathon runs. Well, three marathons and a project.

Tim Doherty has done both the marathon runs on DoE1:Hell's Fortress. He took 10 seconds off of Nolan's Easy Run to get 10:19.
He then did the Nightmare Run in 16:52, 350 seconds faster than his previous run. This is much more aggressive than his previous attempt, although me came very close to blowing himself into little pieces on the final level.
16:52 is a good time but 8:44 is better. And that's exactly what Jan "Ghetto" Schob has done... kinda. Jan embarked on what he called Rogue done Roughly (RdR) back at the start of 2000, using QdQstats to record a complete run through DoE on Nightmare skill just like a QdQ run. Unfortunatley he only got as far as the end of the first episode before he ran out of time/enthusiasm (ain't that always the way?), but I've posted the result anyway as it does contain some nice tricks and running.
We'll finish this update how we started it. With Mr Kochhar. Amrik has turned his attention to the Easy 100% of Beyond Belief. He has so far improved Nolans previous marathon by 63 seconds to get 16:13 but I doubt it will stay that way for long. Expect several improvements in the next few weeks. :-)

Before I go I'd just like to remind you that the closing date for the current Run Of the Whenever is this Wednesday (5th September). I know Stubby said two weeks but apparently in Denmark Saturday 18th August + 14 days = Wednesday 5th September. Crazy Dane. ;-)

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to tonights edition of SDA update. And boy do we have a packed show for you tonight.

The first demo we have for you is a very nice ID record by Amrik "The Trinidad Tornado" Kochhar. He improved Thomas Bergendorff's Nightmare 100% of e1m4 yesterday evening, and then kept on improving it last night and throughout today, finally settling on 2:26, an 11 second improvement.

The last couple of days have seen a real battle for the Easy 100% of czgtoxic.

First Jonny Andersson took 4 seconds off his previous record to get 1:45.
Then only minutes later Aleksander Osipov pitched in with a 1:40.
Jonny replied with a 1:38.
But then Carl Tholin entered the battle with a devastating 1:28.
And since he was on the map he also decided to take Tim's Nightmare 100%. He did it in a very convincing manner by 114 seconds(!) to get 2:24. He says he would have improved it further but a woman dragged him off to bed. Unfortunately for him it was his Mother. :-)

Alex also managed to take two seconds off of his rpgsp1 Easy 100% with some nice route tweaks. 2:18.

Next, Dan Stukanev improved his nightmare run on ih1m4 by 4 seconds to get 0:39. Dan must really love this map as he is always "Russian" around on it. :-) (*Groan*. I can't believe I just wrote that).

Jonny was not prepared to let Amrik and Jozsef hog all the glory on czg_moon. He improved Jozsef's run by one second to get 0:33 by not doing the fiend boost and instead just bunnying around the outside to the silver key.

Now we move on to the much anticipated SpeedCon2001 demos. The speedy lads at this year's speedrunning event did some amazingly speedy demos which we've added to SDA's tables:

First up we have an ID record from the bunny pioneer himself. Let's have a big cheer for Mr Ilkka Kurkela. Ilkka is back with style as he improved his Easy Run of e4m8 by 1 second to get 0:45.

Then the chaps embarked on a coop frenzy which saw them p155 all over a lot of MP-Crew records. :-)

e1m2 2 Player Nightmare 100% in 0:54 by Ilkka & Alex. 7 seconds faster than the previous time.
e1m5 3 Player Easy 100% in 0:26 by Ilkka, Will & Ingmar. One second faster than the MP-Crew.
e2m1 3 Player Easy 100% in 0:38 by Ilkka, Alex & Marlo. Improves the MP-Crew record by 2 seconds.
e3m5 3 Player Easy Run in 0:28 by Alex, Will & Ingmar. Table filler.
e4m1 3 Player Easy 100% in 0:32 by Ilkka, Alex & Will. Improves the MP-Crew record by a second.
e4m3 3 Player Easy 100% in 0:48 by Ilkka, Will & Ingmar. Improves the MP-Crew record by 4 seconds.
e1m1 4 Player Easy 100% in 0:25 by Ilkka, Alex, Will & Marlo. Improves the MP-Crew record by a second. A very slick run, guys.
e1m1 4 Player Nightmare 100% in 0:30 by Alex, Marlo, Ingmar & Will. Improves the MP-Crew record by two seconds.
e2m5 4 Player Easy 100% in 0:38 by Ilkka, Marlo Alex & Will. Improves the MP-Crew record by 5 seconds.

Will the Swedes fight back? Only time will tell.

So there you have it Ladies and Gentlemen. The end of another update. Now I'm going to bed because I'm so tired that I'm crying tears of blood, and although it makes quite a pretty pattern on the carpet I'm not convinced that it's good for my overall health.

UPDATE 10:52 AM

Seems like Morfy forgot to post the custom demos from SpeedCon....look above for the most likely reason why he forgot :)

bbelief4 2 player Easy Run in 0:18 by Ilkka & Will. Tablefiller.
darkages 2 player Easy 100% in 0:48 by Alex & Marlo. Improves the MP-Crew record by 7 seconds.
mcomplex 2 player Nightmare 100% in 2:07 by Ilkka & Alex. Tablefiller.
bbelief6 3 player Easy Run in 0:29 by Alex, Stefan & Will. Tablefiller.

Enjoy!